My name is River Song.

kalories:

no one wants to fertilize my eggs we can stop with the monthly foolishness

thebobblehat:

the-do-that-girl:

hightimeslowtides:

emilygt:

dinosaurs-on-wheels:

where can I uninstall my period

i think if you download pregnancy it blocks it for a few months but then you get a really annoying loud pop up that doesn’t go away for 18 years

omg

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hahahahahah

After about a fifty year life membership your period upgrades, but the new software makes your computer overheat like crazy.

m4ge:

You know when you need to practice speaking a language but you don’t want to speak it in front of native speakers because you’re worried they will judge you for your poor grammar skills and limited vocabulary

ohtyluhyouresodreamy:

phans-oreo-lovechild:

danisnotonfire:

i was just casually deleting my bebo (DON’T LAUGH AT ME. IT’S GONE NOW) when i stumbled across this -massive cringe oh my god- from back when myspace was relevant! 

HOLY SHIT DAN YOU WERE HOT WHEN YOU WERE SIXTEEN I WOULD HAVE HAD A MASSIVE CRUSH ON YOU 


is that even a dan??!??!

ohtyluhyouresodreamy:

phans-oreo-lovechild:

danisnotonfire:

i was just casually deleting my bebo (DON’T LAUGH AT ME. IT’S GONE NOW) 
when i stumbled across this -massive cringe oh my god- from back when myspace was relevant! 

HOLY SHIT DAN YOU WERE HOT WHEN YOU WERE SIXTEEN I WOULD HAVE HAD A MASSIVE CRUSH ON YOU 

is that even a dan??!??!

cookienun:

assuming someone’s sexuality because of how they dress

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assuming someone’s sexuality because of how they talk

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assuming someone’s sexuality because of their haircut

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assuming someone’s sexuality

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pizza

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nikittypaprika:

When relatives/random people im forced to engage with start talking about “”gay people”” like some mysterious unknowable entity

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eziocauthon89:

I don’t know which is the “correct” answer, but I know which one I’m going to use from now on

eziocauthon89:

I don’t know which is the “correct” answer, but I know which one I’m going to use from now on

nosdrinker:

kingcheddarxvii:

effington:

Terrifying

This reminds me of those pictures of the president you sometimes see hanging behind the counter at stores except it’s a dystopian setting where Dennis has taken over and demands a giant framed picture of him in the front display of every store

have respect idiots I am legend